I used to hate networking. I felt shy. I didn’t want to introduce myself to strangers. I didn’t know what to say. Now I love it. Just give me a room full of new people! One day looking for help on the subject, I ran across Susan Rowan’s “How to Work a Room.” She’s sold a million copies of that and for good reason. Susan showed me how networking is really about being interested in, caring about and being of service to others. I had been thinking it was supposed to be about how I got others interested in me! Ever since then, I have been enjoying myself more and more at networking events. Can you think of network opportunities as a gift? Imagine that every person there could be a friend instead of a “mark.”?
Here are a few do’s and don’ts for networking to add to your collection:
DO be genuine and authentic. Be yourself.
DON’T put on an act and try to behave like someone you’re not.
DO become curious and interested in the person you are talking to. Ask open ended questions, versus yes or no, to give them a chance to open up and tell you about themselves.
DON’T bombard them with questions. Too many questions can be a turnoff and make you sound aggressive and like you are just a taker (information, energy, their time) Be sensitive to how the person is reacting to your questioning.
DO find people you would like to meet. Use your intuition. You can ask yourself “who in this room would love to meet ME?”
DON’T feel you have to tackle people who don’t appeal to you. Later, after you warm up, you might change your mind about them!
DO have your “who I am and what I do” speech very clear in your head before going to the event. And then feel free too make it spontaneous if the spirit moves!
DON’T give a canned-sounding 30 second commercial for yourself when you meet someone. People can tell when you aren’t really connecting with them and are just concerned with promoting yourself.
DO have business cards ready so you don’t have to fumble around for them, but don’t
offer unless there seems to be some genuine mutual interest there. If the person seems to be a good connection for you and you like them, ask for theirs first.
DON’T come at a person head-on and immediately hand them your card.
DO put notes on the back of cards as soon as possible after you get them as to the date, the event where you met this person, and any notes about your conversation. Think you’ll remember? Chances are you won’t!
DON’T file away the card in some drawer for “later.” Follow up with each contact that seemed worthwhile with a friendly email, preferably mentioning some way you might do business with them or be useful to them in the future.
DO spend enough time getting to know a quality contact without thinking you have to keep it short so you can meet more people.
DON’T go for quantity rather than quality.
DO become a great listener. You can’t fake it! Learn to ask “What do you do?” with
ease, sincerity and genuine interest.
DON’T interrupt the person with frequent references to yourself, like “Oh yes, that happened to me” or “ I used to do that too” etc.
DO Practice talking to people everywhere you go. Be self confident and if you aren’t, work at it-- maybe take a workshop or join a Toastmasters public speaking club.
DON’T be apologetic or self deprecating.
DO enjoy yourself!!
DON’T stay home cause its easier!
DO offer to introduce a new contact to others you may know in the room. An introduction spoken with respect is well remembered.
